I am writing today to talk to you about self-care, and ease.
Do you believe you deserve self-care and ease?
Do you believe it is possible for you to have a life that is abundantly easeful and rich with opportunities for self-care?
I didn’t. Not until quite recently.
Irrationally, I believed these things were possible for others. Just not for me. I thought these qualities were for people with more money, more time, more self-esteem than I had. Or for people with less responsibilities, less debt, less commitments to others than I had.
I may have believed this because of patterns picked up in childhood. Or because of my supposedly flawed brain chemistry. Or because I was carrying a deep sense of unworthiness. I don’t know. I do know that this belief has shifted dramatically for me over the last year or two, and that, as the belief has shifted, my ability to create a life filled with ease, and my ability to prioritize self-care, have increased exponentially.
My wonderful teacher and mentor, Hiro Boga, has said that we do not get the things we deeply desire by trying to grasp or reach outside of ourselves for them, or trying to attract them to us. She says we get what we deeply desire by creating an inner ecology which will sustain those things – by creating the life-ecology into which our desires fit with ease.
My experience in the last year has shown me that this is wise and true. I have worked to create an inner ecology that will sustain a life of ease, abundance, and service, and the elements of that life are now growing quite naturally in the ground I have prepared for them.
My earliest baby steps on this path were all about opening up space for self-care, and creating time for inner work. Even when I wasn’t sure that I deserved that space and time, I had the instinct, and the urge to create them.
This is why I have created my Artful Life Retreats. I wanted to create a special space and time for us as women to retreat from our busy lives, focus only on ourselves and our own needs and desires, and begin to take those first steps towards creating a new “inner ecology,” one in which our dreams and desires can flourish.
For me, self-care was a struggle at first. An inner struggle to allow myself the time, the space, the money, and the support that it took to begin caring for myself in a new way. I see the women who have registered for my Artful Island Retreat engaged in that same struggle. Each of them has said to me, in one way or another, that is is hard for them to allow themselves this piece of abundant self-care. But they have taken the leap anyway, made a commitment to themselves and to their own care and well being.
You know this – as women, our role is often to care for others. We make sure the resources are available for others’ care – we budget the money, make the time, invest the energy to assure that our children, our mates, our organizations and communities, our aging parents, are well cared for, nurtured, and at ease. And then we struggle with guilt when the opportunity to invest in our own well-being comes along.
So I say congratulations, a hearty high-five, to those of you who have taken the step of investing in your own self-care – whether through one of my retreats or any other investment. I know you deserve it. I know you need it. And I know it wasn’t easy for you to give yourself permission.
And for those of you still struggling with the decision? To coin a phrase, just do it. You will not regret a wise investment in your own care. I know you deserve it. I know you need it. And I know it is not easy to give yourself permission.
If you feel drawn to one of my retreats as your first step, read all about the September retreat here. We have a beautiful circle of wise and lovely women coming from near and far, and you may be just the woman we need to complete our circle for five days of self care, ease, creativity, movement, and magic. The spots will fill fast, so hop on it and fill out the form on the retreat page to book yours!
Whether you take the first steps with me or on your own, my wish is for you to invest in yourself and take the time you so need and deserve to care for your precious self.